When divorce is imminent and two parents want to legally divide their lives, the children are still the legacy of that union, and the children will go on even though the marriage will end.
Money, property, and even spouses can come and go, but all parents want healthy, loving relationships with our children. Post-divorce, children keep spouses connected; the relationship is not severed but changed.
By maintaining focus on the children throughout the divorce process, parents can learn how to grow and evolve into successful co-parents. Successful co-parents have children who know without a doubt that mom and dad will both show up at the college graduation, the wedding, or the birth of the grandchild. That’s the best gift you can give each other and give your children in spite of the dissolution of the marriage.
The Advantages of A Child Centered Divorce
Even if two people cannot agree on anything else, it is almost always possible that two parents can agree that they want what is best for the children. A child-centered divorce retains the focus on that really important thing, so every other decision about the legal division of marriage can be based on that. Parents focusing on their children are less likely to:
- Allow disagreements to get completely derailed
- Make decisions based on their own negative emotions
- Have difficulties finding resolutions to common problems
On the most basic level, a child-centered divorce is advantageous for the children involved, but in totality, this kind of focus translates to easier resolutions on everything else that is involved. For example, two parents who may otherwise battle about who gets to keep the house will decide who gets to keep the house based on what will work best for the children involved.
The Collaborative Divorce Enables a Child Centered Focus
Collaborative Divorce processes support the child-centered focus because of how they are designed. From the initial joint meeting, both parties of the divorce share their goals.
As a family law attorney, I have yet to have a case involving minor children where the parties did not have a shared goal of making sure their children got through this process with the least amount of change and trauma. From the very beginning, you can tell that is a common goal among both parties, which helps them get to a resolution.
Crafting a logical and healthy parenting schedule and handling children’s expenses fairly are naturally part of the process. The children’s ages and needs and the parenting philosophies are examined to develop new plans for family life that still benefits the children the most. Even couples with children over the age of 18 can keep their children their center focus with a collaborative divorce. It’s not uncommon for parents to determine things like how a future marriage of the child will be funded or how the two co-parents will cover the child’s college expenses.
The Collaborative Divorce process is an excellent way to manage a divorce and plan for the children’s future. After all both parents will always be the parents of their children.